Your Green Eyes

Pitch black, was all I could describe what I see. For a person who've seen the colourful world for 23 years, having only pitch black in your sight, was pretty scary.
I remembered the time, when I opened my eyes. Why isn't there any light? Did someone off the lights?
I sat up, touched my eyes, making sure nothing was blocking my sight. 
Hello? I called.
Anyone there? 
Then I could feel a familiar hand touched my right hand.
I'm here, I'm here. His hands intertwined with mine.
Can you on the lights? I pleaded. 
He didn't say anything, his tighten my hand in his as I felt a drop of water on my arm.

I remembered the moment, when they told me what exactly had happened. I threw everything I could touch. I cried myself to sleep every night. My world has entered darkness, as if the sun would never ever come out again. But that wasn't true, I could feel it, the heat, the sunlight landed on my exposed skin, every morning when he walked me to the garden.

It's hard to believe people around me. I couldn't even see. I don't know what exactly is going on around me. I couldn't do anything about it. Lifeless, was how I felt. But I know, he was there for me. He is the one I could trust, the one who would never ever harm me. Every day, he held my hand. Every night, he tucked my into my bed, still, with his hands interlocked with mine. Making sure that I wasn't scared, or alone.

I felt a sense of relief that he was actually there for me. He didn't care, even though I was blind, his love for me had only gotten stronger. He would always tell me that I was the most beautiful person in the world, he would tell me that I'm the best of him. His words were sweet and so convincing. But, I knew, I was trouble. Having him to give up on his current career just to take care of me, felt like I owe him a lot. Not to say owe, hmm, I feel like I was burdening him.

So one day, I decided, to leave. I was clumsy, as I wasn't use to walking alone. I tried my best, and ended up hiding in a grocery store a few miles away from our home. I felt my phone vibrate, I didn't dare to answer, not knowing if it's him who was calling. After a few times of vibrating, I took out the battery from my phone and threw it on the floor. Few minutes later, I could hear my name, it was him, his voice. I ran, as fast as I could, praying to god that he wouldn't catch me.

Thanks to my short legs, he managed to catch me within seconds. He held my arms so tight, that it hurt. What do you think you're doing?! He yelled. I kept quiet, as I felt the anger in his voice.
Why?! He roared again. I couldn't take it, I whispered, I don't want to burden you. My tears couldn't resist. I heard his deep sigh. After a short silence, I felt his lips on mine. I was about to give in, until I realized, this is wrong, I was supposed to disappear in his life. I pushed him away, but it didn't work. The only thing he did was, he pulled me even closer.

His kiss was so magical, so enchanting. It was better than anything. His thin lips laid on mine, it felt like summer, it felt so hot, yet so comfortable. I know realised, our love was unbreakable. He was like morphine, he was like oxygen. He was everything, I would ever want in my life. His kiss was demanding at first, but he became much softer, after I kissed him back. The kiss was perfect, except the fact that there wasn't any fireworks. Except for the face that I was blind, except the fact that we weren't kissing under the moonlight. I felt amazed, how it make my world spin. It was so flawless. Until, he collapsed and laid on me.

It was my turn this time, to hold his hands. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his cold hands as I wrapped them together with mine. He was so cold. He laid on the hospital bed, and I stayed beside him every day. I've learnt to become independent. I walked alone, down the street, to the market, and even back home. I was scared back then, but now, I wasn't. Because, he was the one who needs me now.

The doctor told me that he was infected by a disease, I forgot the name, and it was too long. All I knew was, it was quite serious, and he might need surgery. It was heart-breaking when I heard the news. Staying at the hospital wasn't fun, not at all. The smell of medicine and rubber gloves haunts me every time I step into this cold and heartless building.

Let me tell you some good news, I've learned how to cook, 'blindly'. Of course, I've learned his favourite dish first. I smiled when I realized that it tastes not bad. I carefully placed the food in a container, brought along a pair of chopsticks. And left the house. Oh, and this time, I remembered to lock the front door. How great is that?

It was the 25th day that he was admitted to the hospital. He's gotten much better, I can tell by his voice. I opened the container and put it on the canteen table, as he sat opposite to me. He tasted the food, and guess what? He liked it! He ruffled my hair, and said he was so proud that I've actually cooked. I smiled, knowing that he was happy for me.

After lunch, both of us sat on his hospital bed. I was back facing him, as his long arms wrapped along my waist from behind. He rested his chin on my left shoulder. I missed your green eyes, I told him. His green eyes, was the main reason I fell in love with him. His eyes were special, it wasn't the normal greens you've seen other people with, and it’s lighter, brighter green. He laughed, I love your brown eyes. He said. I then realized, I couldn't really remember how he looks like, I've been blind for almost 2 years now. I started to get nervous. What if? What if I can't remember how he looks like anymore? Depression hit me, as my tears were unable to control again.

He comforted me, and asked me to share my worry. And of course, I told him so. He held me in even tighter. He then asked, can you feel my heartbeat? Yes, yes I can, I replied. 
That's good enough, all you have to know is, my heart beats for you, every second, every hour, every day and forever. He whispered. His whispers never failed to make my heartbeat faster. He then kissed my right cheek, making me flush in pink. I love you, he said. Forever, he whispered as he tucked me in.

After two days, I've received another amazing news, there was this little girl, who met with an accident, and so her family had decided to donate her eyes for me. I was happy but sad at the same time. An innocent life was taken away by God. At least, she's back in God's embrace right now. The other thing is, he, he will be having his operation, on the same day as mine. The only thing is, the timing is different. My operation is two hours earlier.

The day has finally came, I didn't slept well the previous night. I didn't know how to thank her parents, I mean, it's really generous of them to donate her eyes. I got to the hospital early, just so I could have breakfast with him. He was acting a bit weird that day, probably he was worried, because of the operation. I pat his back, and gave him a small massage on his shoulders. He then surprised me, by pulling me into a hug. I giggled, as I joked about him being desperate. He didn't laugh, in fact, I could hear him sniff. What's wrong? I asked. I wanted to break the hug and touch his face, just to know that if he was really crying. But he didn't allow me to. Beryl, he called my name. I just want you to know, I love you okay? And no matter what happens, just be strong, just like the way you are. Promise me, that everything will be alright okay? Just, promise me, right now. He sound so demanding. I promise, I said. I didn't know why he got so emotional. I didn't understand, maybe he was worried that the operations might go wrong. Just then, one of the nurse came in and told me it was my time to change. I nodded as I took my handbag and walked towards the door. He then held onto my hand. I turned back. He then held my cheeks with both if his hands and kissed my head. I love you, he said. I gave him a small laugh, I love you too. I said.

Okay, now, slowly. One of the nurse guided me to the doctor's room. It's been three hours after my operation was done, the doctor said that it was very successful. I smiled, knowing that my world wouldn't be filled with darkness anymore. Knowing that I can once again, see his green eyes, and make my heart melt one more time. After we reached the toilet, the nurse started to take off the bandage covering me eyes. When she was about to do so, I stopped her and asked if he was done with his surgery. So that he could see this moment. So that we could share our joy. The nurse suddenly went silent, as if she was unable to answer my question. Emma? I called the nurse. Oh, urm he's not done with his operation yet, why don't we move on, and you can surprise him later? She suggested. Hmm, why not? I smiled and nodded.

A ray of light shone into my eyes as I slowly opened them, it hurts, honestly, as if it's been decades since I've opened my eyes. Everything was so perfect, the colours were a joy to see! No more darkness, I cried in joy, no more! Then I have this weird idea, to get back into my normal clothes and look at the mirror and see how I look at this current moment. I avoid looking at mirrors, so that I could somehow surprise myself. After changing into a floral printed dress he got me, I slowly walked towards the toilet, my heart raced, as I really want to see how I look at this moment. Did I gain weight? Did my skin got tanned? Joy filled me, when I realized his excited I was to actually see myself again. This was my moment. I closed my eyes as I entered the toilet and stood right in front of the mirror. I then counted.

One.

Two.

Three.

I opened my eyes. I gasped. Nothing changed, my face, my eyes, and my skin. Except, my eyes, they were bright green. Horror stroke me as I ran outside the toilet, no, no it couldn't be! I bit my bottom lip as I rushed down the stairs. It only took me a blink, to reach his room. I opened it, my heart sank. No one was there. I walked inside the room. A red envelope on his bed, attracted me.

Beryl, was written on the envelope. I tore open it, and there was a small letter.

Beryl, 
Hey, if you're able to read this, that means the operation had gone well. Please don't get mad at me for what I've done. I'm sorry for not being a perfect boyfriend. I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you till forever. The sickness I was diagnosed with, was.... I rather not telly you. I'm sorry for hiding it, the doctor promised me that he won't tell you. It first struck me when I thought I couldn't take care of you forever. Then I realised, all I can do was, to let you see again, to let you enjoy this colourful world. With you able to see again, you won't need me anymore. You'll go back to the strong Beryl. Remember that time when you were jealous of my eyes? When you said you wished you have my eyes? Well, your wish came true. My heart might have stopped beating for you, but at least, a part of me, will forever be with you. I apologize again for not being able to be by your side again. All I want you to know is, I love you, Beryl. You're the only one, who completes me.

Love, Hans.